Battle fog : Giving Up vs Letting Go
On any given day, I had been told “If only I could be as tough as you, my career would be much easier and smoother”. It took days for to digest why I got labelled that way till my great good colleagues were resigning amid overloaded with work and high demand from stakeholders.
Seriously, more than a dozen were resigning in one batch. Yes, one batch. the turnover rate was real high. What happened?
Dude, I was lamenting inside thinking how that could be!
We did believe teamwork always made the great work. Most of us were in the same boat and always got each other to backup. When one by one finally gave up and the work rhythm was no longer the same. Any toxicity or negativity just easily spreaded up and affected the others, even when I was under their low radar.
Their main reason sounded cliche, but sadly saying, it was true. 90% had the same reason & the rest was pretty diverse.
Few people mentioned that they got< 3% pay rise with >3x workloads compared to last year. How’s that considered equal?
Well, how’s mine? My off-from-work was never 100% off. But I was once made it to 60% off (not 60% off discount lol).
Asides to pay rise issue, I treated this as a trade-off between work experience and personal acknowledgment. “Work rated as equivalent” was never in my dictionary considering :
1. I’m living and working in Southeast Asia
2. Currently following work culture in Singapore
3. Gender inequality in Indonesia is the main impediment to achieving global sustainable development.
Recently, I received the same feedback from new members “Too much pressure and negativity here. Way too toxic. Time to give up”
Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, you are supposed to do something.
Some of their final take is tendering a resignation. Some remain to stay. But then, will this bring them into a healthier workplace amid toxic feeling they’ve been through from current one? I don’t know, but I do hope so.
How’s mine? Still being clouded with all endless deadlines. Still self analyzing and reflecting what to improve. which part that I should give them up, or should I let go. Wait, let go?
Giving up vs Letting go
As the mother nature made almost everyone stayed home and had more time to reflect upon, I began questioning and finding out the process of giving up and letting go. Both had the same metrics but had different level of acknowledgement.
Giving up was like selling yourself short. The extract of letting go was supposed to be freeing yourself from something that was no longer serving you.
Giving up did not make room for relationships and ideas that were conducive to your wellbeing and happiness.
Comparing to giving up, letting go doesn’t need anyone’s permission or approval to live your life in the way that feels right. No one has the authority to tell you who to be or how to live. No one gets to decide what your life should look like or who should be a part of it. No one, but you.
Clearing up the Fog
Have you tried cutting off negative people who were once your significant others? Or have you tried speaking up different thoughts in public?
Looking back, I had zero effort to do so. I allowed fear and struggle to limit any side chances. I allowed people to take my audacity to speak up, to choose, to decide. There was a moment when I let my ex-boss overutilized my sense of ownership. People often got taken a toll on me. Often over-tolerated stuff that I actually needed.
To recap, I have become losing my own identity, my right to stand in society. Yes, I knew I was that dumb (lol)
Letting go is acknowledgement of ending of something, a life phase or situation that does not serve anymore.
With letting go, it comes clarity. It clears up the fog. It does not only eventually diminish the visibility or actions that people expect from you, but also it does set magnitudes much easier when people try to re-approach you. In short, letting go predominantly helps you start new path with clearer mind.
When you get lost on a road among fog, the hazard will of course be no joke. Same thing happen to you when you’re about to (or already) end up a tie. Seek for a clarity, solution for both parties.
The battle of finding a win-win solution would be hard but at least you work on finding a final acknowledgement, for both of you. If one could not suit your needs/wants after back to back reconciliation, appreciate their thoughts and know yourself when to give up and how to let go.
